From my initial reflections and audience feedback, I would like this final blog post to cover ways of expanding the ideas that the show conveys.

One piece of feedback I received was that the show was well conceived and although it was packed full of elements it would be interesting to tease these elements out. Things such as interacting with the shredder, the physical movements could all be expanded and developed further in future versions of this performance. The process of creating I Feel Pretty and receiving incredible feedback from a live audience has convinced me that I should take this performance further. It only seems natural to do so.

I would like to expand the show more to include more active moments. The piece has a lot of static sections which could be punctuated with more stage activity such as more physical elements. I think what I Feel Pretty lacked was an exploration into how these figures get to the position that they are in. The piece presents, to a degree, their vanity and so called worship; which is caused by their power and charisma but it doesn’t examine why. That is not to say I wish to provide a reason why, because I don’t think I can feasibly do that, but I will be able to provide an exploration.

In expanding the piece, I would like to explore more multimedia elements, expanding upon the projection-mapping that occurs during the piece’s ending. It would be interesting to explore full body projection. However, to do this, I would need to change my costume from the black shirt and black trousers to white variants. Alongside this idea it would be beneficial to research into what makes a leader, and how the same tropes occur in leaders throughout history.

A piece of feedback that I received was that the version of Horst-Wessel that I played on the piano was catchy and easily memorable. This is something I wish to explore in expanding the show. Often political leaders will use slogans, sayings, music to swerve political opinion and to create associations. With the Nazis it was the salute. With Donald Trump it’s ‘Let’s Make America Great Again.’ With Theresa May it is ‘Strong and Stable.’ It would be valuable to explore this idea in adapting my performance for a longer duration.

Broadly speaking, I Feel Pretty examines a level of deep-seated corruption that sits at the heart of political leadership. That is, to destroy things and by using the rubble; re-construct one’s own image. So with that in mind it is about identity. In expanding the show, I would love to be able to make a sequel to the performance. On my make-shift board I include the title to my piece. I also include something a satirical sentence underneath one of the images of Donald Trump. The sentence reads: The Secret Mask. At the end of Tim Crouch’s My Arm he states that his next show will be called An Oak Tree. In writing The Secret Mask on my podium board, I aim to do the same. Where I Feel Pretty might explore political vanity, corruption and destruction in openly vane, dictators and political figures, The Secret Mask might explore the unseen organisations. The Internet. The Media. ISIS. It will explore how they contribution to the notions surrounding corruption and destruction.

On a final note, it has been a pleasure to create this show. It has been a hard, uplifting and extremely rewarding experience. The way I worked in creating the show is the way I wish to create theatre in the future. Experimentation, exploration and being simple. The experience of creating a solo performance was both useful and exhilarating and I only wish to expand, adapt and create a larger, longer and better performance than the one I had just spent the past few months creating.

Yesterday I performed by debut Solo Performance  I Feel Pretty. It was a show that explored vanity, the destruction of materials and objects orchestrated by political leadership. All the elements were in place and overall I thought that the performance went well. In fact, better than expected. The show was incredibly tech heavy and there were a lot of elements that I was concerned about. I was concerned about the execution of the projection-mapping onto my face. I felt that I wouldn’t have been able to meet the mark. Whilst in the performance I missed the mark slightly, causing the projection-mapping to be a fraction off, I felt that seemed more effective than having the projections being completely accurately focused onto my face.

During the final section of the performance I recite one of the final stanzas from W.H. Auden’s 1^st September 1939. Before during the tech and the ‘muck-around’ sessions I had planned for the projection-mapping to be completely accurate. Whilst the intention faltered somewhat in the performance the image of half my face being either Savonarola, Goebbels, or Trump and the other as myself, really struck me when watching the performance back.

The new image that I interpreted as accidental was that I still had my voice. My voice and my freedom of expression was seeping out from under the face of political dictatorship.

I felt that my interactions with the shredder could have been more rehearsed. I felt that the nerves got to me as the beginning of the performance progressed. However, despite the shredder being jammed at one point and the nerves slowing the pace of my movements I felt that the image of my ‘destroying’ things was visually noticeable from my audience. On the other hand, what I felt was great about the use of the shredder is the creation of atmosphere and the creation of noise. Even though I had been using the shredder throughout my rehearsal process the noise was something that struck me when I was performing. Even over the recorded voice and Horst-Wessel tracks the noise of the shredder became extremely noticeable and even punctuated and underscored the recorded sound.

Another element that shocked me was the comedy of the piece. Throughout rehearsals I had no intention of making the piece funny or comic. I felt if I pursued to purposefully create comedy in this piece would only cheapen what is happening in the space and the piece overall. My interactions with Jack, an audience member who partook in my performance, became extremely comic for other audience members. My interactions with Jack was inspired by Tim Crouch’s An Oak Tree. I did not think that it would generate comedy. I felt that the comedy and laughter was generated through my tone of voice and how the interactions with Jack fitted amongst the rest of the dialogue. The dialogue in question was this:

                   The Performer walks up to a microphone. With the bin of the shredder. Takes the microphone and beginning to create the sound of crackling fire.

PERFORMER: Imagine. You are in a crowd. You are in Italy, Florence. It’s 1497. 520 years ago. And there are children and priests destroying mirrors, make-up, fine-dresses, books and paintings by throwing them onto an open bonfire to disrupt the nature of truth. They do it because a man with power and charisma tells them that is the right thing to do, and if they don’t they would be labelled as sinners.

PERFORMER: Hello. Thank you for coming. What’s your name.

            The Audience member says their name

PERFORMER: Hello XXXX. Today you are going to become the bonfire. Now take this. And take the flame (passes mic). Make sure to stir the fire gently.

PERFORMER: Imagine. You are in a crowd. You are in Germany, Berlin. It’s 1933. 84 years ago. And the Nazi Student Union are destroying Jewish art. Jewish books. Jewish literature by throwing them onto an open bonfire to disrupt the nature of truth. They do it because a man with power and charisma tells them that is the right thing to do, and if they don’t they would labelled as Jewish Sympathisers.

PERFORMER: You’re doing great XXXX.

PERFORMER: Imagine. You are in a crowd. You are in America, Washington. It’s now. The Republicans are in power. And the Republicans are destroying ‘Fake News’ by distrupting the nature of truth. They do it because a man with power and charisma tells them that is the right thing to do, and if that don’t they would be labelled as Anti-Nationalistic.

PERFORMER: XXXX You can stop now. Place the microphone gently on the floor.

Even though the comedy was unexpected I felt like it enhanced the piece. The dialogue could have ever so easily been regarded as ‘preachy’ and yet the comedy made sure that was not the case. The projections of the Bonfire of the Vanities and the Nazi Book Burnings allowed the speech to be put into context.

The objective of the first words that are spoken in my solo performance: “Imagine. You are in…” directly asks the audience to imagine they are in a place, with the projection contextualising it. The use of such a device provides a similar frame to how Tim Crouch addresses his audience in An Oak Tree. Crouch in the beginning of his piece, tells the audience that they are in a pub a year from now and thereby gives the assumption that neither of them will be involved nor allowed to partake in audience interaction or other elements in the performance. The whole objective of I Feel Pretty was to provide the audience with an experience. I treated the performance more as performance art, rather than theatre. This was due to the simple fact that I was not telling a story. There was no real clear narrative. Just a series of images, sequences and atmospheres.

Credit to Ashley Walls ‘Pose One’

Credit to Ashley Walls. ‘Pose Two’

Credit to Ashley Walls.
‘Pose Three’

Whilst the piece initially was inspired by my view on politics I never wanted that to come across in a preach-style way. This intention was something that I felt came across especially in feedback from my audience. Whilst the piece had a lot of physical elements to it and demonstrated effective stage images

FEEDBACK

Overall the feedback from my audience was extremely positive. One of the most frequent positive notes about the show was the use of the microphone inside the bin of the shredder to create the sound of the bonfire. In rehearsals and in experimentation I never expected this element of my performance to receive such a grand response. I was questioned about how I came across using the microphone as a tool to create the audio. Frankly it was just through experimentation. I knew that I didn’t want to cheapen the imagery of a fire sound with the use of a recorded sound effect. I thought that it would seem more theatrical if I created the sound on-stage and it would look more effective. I took influence for this element from Simon Mcburney’s The Encounter. The Encounter was a piece of solo performance that mixed spatial, audio and projection into what I would call an ‘experience.’ Although the show was a form of theatre and told a story, I felt that the main strength of the piece was the creation of an atmospheric experience for the audience. The use of the microphone in my solo performance created the same type of diagetic sound that Mcburney creates when he crumples up crisp packets next to a microphone, thereby creating the illusion of a crackling fire.

In The Encounter Mcburney makes no reference to the fact that the space the audience are in is anything other than the space of a theatre. I attempted to do the same with minimal set, costume and props in I Feel Pretty. Having the projector visible for the projection-mapping also contirubted to this idea. Nothing was really hidden. The Nazi uniform was visible to the audience as was the Nazi Flag. Although the flag was folded it was made to be easily interpreted by the audience. For them to question whether it was actually a Nazi Flag or not. The only thing that was hidden was the Trump mask. This was intentional and it was for shock / surprise effect.

A comment from another audience member which really stood out to me was the effect of the Nazi salute. He said that it was incredibly interesting to see a performance that features a Nazi salute that doesn’t come across as derogatory or offensive.

Credit to Ashley Walls ‘Pose Four’

I thought this was a touching and incredibly valuable comment, especially in relation to previous discussions about the simple nature of the physical poses. I had concerns that the Nazi salute might provoke a reactionary response, whether that be an awkward silence or uncomfortable laughter. However, when I was performing those stances I noticed that the audience, whilst being silent, were incredibly attentive. The Nazi salute has so many horrific undertones dating back to Nazi Germany. It has even seen a rise in Neo-Fascism in America as well. For myself to replicate the salute without it being regarded as offensive was incredibly rewarding to hear.

A final comment about the performance was about the treatment of the shredding like confetti. A lot of members of the audience thought that using the paper shreds as confetti and then pouring it onto myself was a startling image. It was also regarded as being ‘beautifully visual.’ In a strange way it felt liberating to throw and pour the paper shredding onto the audience. From the beginning of the performance as the audience entered the space, the shredder was being filled. What was going to happen to the shredding was unknown to the audience. Yet, audience members said that they were wondering what was going to happen with the shredder.

Overall I feel that the piece was successful. It challenged and provoked responses which was my intention and it had accidents which wasn’t foreseen in rehearsals but aided the piece’s effectiveness.

Last week I had a workshop with performance artist Aine Philips. Since then I haven’t stopped thinking about it and how the chats we had about performance relates to my show. One of the larger ideas that came out of the workshop and the talk was the value of the simple over the simplistic. Creating something simple can often be more effective than trying to convolute it with too many ideas. This is what I want to attempt and convey to my audience.

The workshop was incredibly useful to frame my thoughts and sections of my performance in wider context. Throughout the rehearsal process I was concerned about the poses and stances that I perform on the top of the podium. I thought they were too simple.

 Speaking to Aine put this section of my performance into perspective. It made me realise that doing something simple can be effective and provides a more outstanding effect than that of something complex. These poses were slow, methodical and framed the performance somewhat. Having them as they are, in accordance with a backing-track seemed to make it seem simple, yet effective. They were enhanced visually by the backlight that I experimented with in my technical session. The idea of my performance being simple coincides with the principals that my performance undertakes. It has very little set. Very little costume and props and a lack of speaking, keeps the performance simple. Yet, it does not render it simplistic.

On Thursday the 18^th May, I had the chance to experiment and try out elements of the show in the space with technical support and guidance. This session was extremely useful to visualise and to tighten some of the more technically orientated sections of the piece.

Throughout rehearsals it was hard to envisage the videos, projections and lighting effects in the space. This ‘muck around’ enabled me to put the entire show together and this was only enhanced by the technical rehearsal.

During these sessions decisions that had been previously rehearsed were cut and replaced with ideas that better suited the piece when I could visualise the lights, sound and visual effects. In the middle of I Feel Pretty I play Horst-Wessel (Nazi-Germany’s national anthem) in accompaniment with a video showing marching nazi and North-Korean soldiers doing the goose-step; interlaced with speeches by Hitler and Trump.

Credit to AshleyMarkWalls Photography

With the help of outside feedback, it became clear that the tune may not be instantly recognisable by the audience which would lessen the effect of the overall ‘picture’ or image. To rectify this I decided to change the pre-set music. Originally the pre-set was going to be The Man Who Sold The World by David Bowie; a fitting song that encapsulates the ideas surrounding political leadership alongside vanity. However, deciding to change the music to a recorded version of the original Horst-Wessel seemed more fitting. The music would create a better atmosphere than The Man Who Sold the World could. Bowie’s song, to a degree, had a more casual tone and therefore created a casual atmosphere for the beginning of the show. Listening to Horst-Wessel on the speakers in the studio made me realise this and in-fact replacing The Man Who Sold The World with Horst-Wessel seemed more fitting to create a more applicable atmosphere to start the show.

As well as having Horst-Wessel for the pre-set, I wanted to experiment with lighting during the ‘muck around’ and ‘Technical Rehearsal.’ For the pre-set I decided that I wanted white LED’s on the audience seating as well red LED’s focused on the shredder. Throughout the pre-set I will be shredding pages, magazines and images of paintings and religious texts, political texts etc. Coming into the atmosphere of the pre-set lighting state, the music playing over the top and a projected video of featuring Hitler, Goebelles and Trump, I hope would create an atmosphere for the audience. I want to avoid it being represented as too oppressive. In order to do this I will not interact with the audience. Often, audience interaction during the start of a performance might come across as being intrusive, an invasion of somebody’s personal space. The white LED lights in accompaniment with the red LED’s might give the impression of an ‘Us and them’ feeling between myself and the audience. I would be bathed in red, whilst the audience is bathed in white.

Another change to the piece was the section in which I goose-step to The Dictator Decides by The Pet Shop Boys. Originally when performing the ‘goose-step’ I went at half speed. However, it was not until the ‘technical rehearsal’ that I realised that I needed to go faster. The image of my goose-stepping seemed a bit too long as it was the only thing happening on stage. By speeding it up it reduced the time of the image and it looked more effective in relation to the music. Additionally, in speeding up the goose-step it allowed for the lyrics of the song to occur as soon as I reached the podium which made the section more succinct.

An additional element that I wanted to try in the technical rehearsal was the facial projection. All the way through the rehearsal process I had wanted to use projection-mapping to project the faces of Savonarola, Goebbels and Trump onto my own face. In order to this effectively I needed to shave my face and to paint it white. This, in theory, would make the project clearer. In the tech, this became the case. The faces came out extremely clear and was instantly recognisable on my own face. Painting my face had also been a stylistic choice, not just a technical one. It just so happened that the painting of the face became a lot more useful when used with projection.

The choice of having a white face makes the piece more stylised I feel. It, to a degree, diminishes my identity as ‘kieran’ but doesn’t signify myself as a character. Mime artists such as Jaques Lecoq, Marcel Marceau and even comedy performer Charlie Chaplin all made use of white face paint in their performances. The white face paint acted as a mask and it heightened any facial expression that is used or performed.

Credit to AshleyMarkWalls Photography

The way I view the mime ‘whiteface’ is that it allows the performer to have no face, yet, every face all at once. The mime was something that I was interested in creating and testing in the ‘technical rehearsal.’ I didn’t want to experiment physically, except in a few cases in the performance where stance and facial expression help to encapsulate the various stage pictures; rather I wanted to use the idea of the mime as a springboard for my costume. The black shirt, black trousers and white face doesn’t depict me as a character, nor does it represent me as Kieran. Instead it characterises me, the performer, as something in limbo. A canvas to be projected on, a canvas to be interpreted, a canvas to perform. Additionally, the use of the ‘non-character’, ‘non-self’ dynamic helps the exploration that I Feel Pretty creates. This exploration consists of the idea that anyone can become like these political figures and dictators. It is not a character endorsing or representing them. It is not me as myself endorsing or representing them. It is the Performer that links these threads together. That is my view of how this show works and will work in front of an audience.

I am currently moving forward into the final few weeks of developing my solo performance. Over the Easter break I met up with my tutor Donald Pulford who was an exceptional help in really developing the show.  He was able to provide feedback which enabled me to improve the transitions and to provide an insight into the show that I didn’t even think of. Since meeting with Donald I have not really developed the show much. I have let it sit and breathe in my head and it is only this week with which the shaping, perfecting, explanation and the editing can take place.

The show has a name now too. Naming a show is important and arduous. It gives it an identity and I think a name can define what style, what type of performance it is. I have decided to name the show I FEEL PRETTY. The name was constructed out of various conversations about the show with my friends. I was stuck on how the show should be represented in both a mediated and marketed format. The show does not take itself seriously in that it is not a ‘serious’ show. It is more satirical, more exploratory as a performance rather than a political rant. Yet, the show is adversely political. It has to be. It deals with Nazis, Savonarola and Donald Trump in a neo-cabaret way. The title refers to the vanity of the show. In ways the title provides some sort of subversion. The tone of it suggests something, perhaps, to do with beauty, yet, the show is nothing to do with beauty as such but rather ‘presentation’.

I’d like my audience to laugh, to enjoy it. That is what I feel theatre, at it’s heart is to be about. To enjoy. If my audience do not enjoy the ‘experience’ that I subject them too in my performance then, they may not be willing to open their minds to what the show is saying. The show explores, as reference in prior blog posts, notions of vanity in political leaders. Notions of destroying objects and notions of creating a cult of personality. An image. An identity. The show ‘should’ create an atmosphere for the audience. I’d hope to have biographies of leaders, past and present. Although the show only tackles three leaders, it is the time-zones and the transcendence between these times that creates the subtle through line which is: we will always have leaders like this. Leaders that allow power to escape to their heads and mould the country and the politics into their own image.

Despite having most of the show completed there are things that need touching up and addressing. The projection of the faces for instance might need to be looked at in relation to it’s aesthetic quality and whether the ‘faces’ can actually be pulled off via projection onto my face. Furthermore, I shall be sourcing a lot of the video material that will be played on the second projector, focused on the black of the curtains. These videos will include Nazi parades, North Korean marches and Charlie Chaplin’s Great Dictator speech. These videos punctuate the show and underline the themes and the topic that I explore. Every rehearsal has since been generating the ‘physical’ material for the show and this week will be about perfecting that material and making sure that all of the additional elements are edited and in place.